Riders on the Storm
by Alraune ten Brinken
Summary: Mello and Matt are in a strange situation. Mello doesn't want to be number two anymore and he's decided to break away from Rod and start his own mafia in Europe. The Kira case concluded two months ago and they've started up a new friendship with a mysterious girl named Alraune who helped them out in the Kira case. How will things play out for the three?
1. Chapter 1 The Rave

You could say that I've been here before and that would be an understatement. This place is merely one in a series. Queue the strobe light, breathe in the new gust of smoke, and move to avoid the stumbling girl who had way too much to drink. She's going to reach for her friend right….now. "Hey! Whoops! Sorry about that, I didn't see you there." Wide eyes take me in and I notice her torn baby pink dress. She's missing a shoe and her eyes tell me that she peeked 3 mollys ago. "'Ssso kay." This is just too easy. "Hey, let me help you. Us girls have to look out for one another, don't we?" I laugh as she grabs onto my wrist a little too tightly. We're the only ones in this corner. On the stage Matt is really working the beat and everyone has fallen into a clam sway. Everything is going to work out if I can just get this bimbo bitch to the bathroom.

The club is as large as a gym with a matt finish on its black walls. The dull finish absorbs most of the lights and anchors the eyes. The floor is stained the color of rust and hard concrete. The bar covers two walls in an L shape. It's sleek and modern with it's black wood and white countertops. The lights are green and red blown glass ords and they sprinkle along the ceiling, hanging low, but not low enough for you to touch. The bar meets the stage, effectively creating a barrier that keeps the crowd contained. The wall that isn't covered with anything has a few trash cans and the bathrooms. Those aren't the bathrooms I need to get her to. I need her to go through this little side door that no one notices and into the private bathroom. The sooner I do this, the sooner I can go home. "Hey! Where're…. where?..." Apparently, she's decided to become aware of her surroundings. Fuck me. I plaster on the best smile I've got and say as soothingly as possible "In here! Duh! Didn't you know there were more bathrooms? My friend owns this place and these are kind of kept secret. Unless, you come here a lot and then you eventually find them by stumbling around. Am I right?" I giggle as I drag her into the bathroom. Its bright white subway tile has my eyes stinging and the tiny red pedestal sink makes me think that this bathroom is the total embodiment of London in 70s. Why? Don't fucking ask me. My brain doesn't necessarily think the way other's do. The checker board tile on the floor, however, is moving up the sides of the wall now, apparently, not just for me but for this chick as well. Her eyes start rolling back in her head as she slumps on the toilet rather un-ladylike. I mean, come on. Have some class. Her long brown hair is all over her face as she rolls her head from side to side. If she wasn't in such a state as this she'd be really cute. I could picture her at Woodstock with her soft brown hair and light blonde highlights caught in the wind as she dances in white cut off shorts and a denim button-up. Except, tonight we're in a bathroom in Berlin at a rave and I need to get what I came for.

"Hey, be careful! Let me help you out. I'll take your pocket book so you don't drop it. This floor looks really gross and junk." I say while ripping the tiny bedazzled purse out of her hands. She starts mumbling and I mean, this is really going way too smoothly. I haven't had to put up with any resistance. I open the purse and examine its contents. I take out her phone, wallet, and then her keys. Lucky me, she has the USB right on her key chain. I'll still keep the phone because God knows that's always useful. The wallet isn't really that important except that I really like to be sure that I've got the person I was actually searching for. The contents of the wallet are pretty messy. She's obviously a big time party girl judging by the club cards and loads of cash. One card in particular catches my eye and I make sure to pocket it. One can never have too much in terms of black mail.

Before I just leave her here I take the drugs out of her purse and put her wallet back inside. I place it on her lap with one hand on top of it. I don't really care about someone finding her or seeing me. I do know the guy who owns this place so he obviously knew that this sort of thing could happen. But, I have the feeling that leaving out the door just wouldn't be smart. My gut is screaming at me that it wouldn't be so I follow its orders and look up to see the window that is on the wall next to the toilet. I can't actually reach it unless….. "Whoops." I push her off the toilet and climb on top of the porcelain thrown. I can just reach the window and I pop it open while hoisting myself through it and into the ally. At least when they find her it'll look like she just passed out drunk. I took the drugs partially for this reason. I don't need the police getting involved since these drugs came from Mello. I reach the front entrance and step to the front of the line. I slide my hand under the UV light and enter the rave once again. This time I veered left to a staircase that takes me to the VIP section. A nearly naked cocktail waitress nearly side swipes me on the way up. "Oh, sweetie! I'm so sorry! It just got dark all of the sudden and I couldn't see the step or you." She laughs like it's the funniest thing and I just smile back without saying anything. There isn't any reason for me to be rude, but I am just so tired and I've had the most sickening feeling ever since we got here.

When I reach the top I see various plush booths but there is one against the railing that has the best view of the stage and I know that's the one Mello will have. Matt, Mello, and I are never out of each other's sights for very long. It was one of the conditions they made me agree too. I wasn't really surprised that it wasn't a choice, but I was touched that they made the rule out of concern for me. The floor is still the same stained concrete but the booths are a deep maroon accented with plush black stain cushions. Dirty is the only word I can think of to describe my opinion. If it was my house then I'd be fine with the nice fabric but this is a rave club and that means one thing: bodily fluids. I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I hear Mello's deep voice. "You made it. Are you okay? You look sick." He moves over to make room for me and pats the booth's bottom cushion. I sit down and it doesn't take long for me to realize that I am fading fast. I can barely hold my eyes open. "Hey." Mello's breath ghosts over my neck and he pulls me close to him. I don't see the point in fighting sleep anymore. I'm safe and Matt is safe and Mello is right here. "You really don't feel good?" The concern in his voice is new. Mello and I are friends but I guess I figured that we'd always be friends at an emotional arms length away. "Yeah, I feel like I can't….I just…..don't move,…please…." I turned my head into Mello's shoulder and nestled into the crook of his neck. The music may have been blaring and the smell of smoke and weed permeated through my mind, but I was engulfed in the blackness of sleep at last and it would take much more than that to wake me.


	2. Chapter 2 Number 2

She fell asleep in the middle of a fucking rave. She literally pulled that job off in less than 15 minutes and now she's asleep. And wait, I'm fucking cuddling her. What in the hell?! Matt needs to hurry up before anything goes down. I have no idea what happened after she took that girl in the private bathroom. I assume she left her alive or we'd be getting out of here but I've been surprised before. Alraune can always surprise me. In fact, I didn't realize just how tightly I was holding her till now. Why did I even grab her up in the first place? That's something Matt does, not me. Not Mello. Looks like it's time for chocolate and a text to Matt. His phone better be on him.

There are way too many people in here and I hate these things if I can't drink. Matt promised he'd play one set but he just keeps on chugging red bulls and moving on to the next song. I hope she got what we needed. This whole thing is in a way my fault. If I had stayed in LA I could have continued to work for Rod, possibly even taken over as his successor since he didn't have any sons. He would have set me up with one of his daughters who are basically fucking perfect future mob wives. Matt could have just been on payroll as IT and this could be his side job. Being number two again just wasn't going to cut it for me. Not after all of those years being second to Near. Alraune says that I have a borderline personality disorder. I was really pissed off when she said that. Like, who gives a shit about her opinion? She just laughed when I asked her that very question and said "I didn't mean it in any way other than the way I meant it. It's a fact. You exhibit all of the signs. I myself have the same signs. I just hope one day you find someone or something that can tone it down for you and be the rock you need. You just need something that will never go away, something that will always remain even when there's nothing left of you anymore." Honestly, I was caught off guard by that statement. What could possible remain when nothing else could and when I had nothing left either? I'll just keep munching away on this chocolate bar till that answer reveals itself.

I guess it's been nice, though. Having her around seems to make Matt a lot happier and even more sociable. I can respect someone who can speak to me the way she does. She never pulls any punches and she tells it like it is. I also know that she doesn't have sticky fingers when it comes to the drugs I deal. In fact, she doesn't take anything unless given to her or agreed upon. I know she likes nice things and I do as well. But, she never goes out of her way to pick up a job because it means a big pay out. I guess I can respect that, too. Overall, I can tolerate her. So, that's why this situation is even more confusing. She's completely against me and her lips keep brushing against my collar bone. Her breath is hot and smells like mixed berries. It's nice. Why the fuck did I just think that?

"Can I get you anything, sweetie?" The cocktail waitress chirps as she removes my empty coke can. She's wearing the outfit they all have to wear up here. Heels, hair pulled back in a high pony tail, and a skimpy leotard. Her shoulders boast faux military insignias from God-knows-where. Over-all, she's a cute little brunette that on any other night I'd bring home with me. "No." I take a particularly harsh bite of my chocolate bar and level a glare at her. I just want to be left alone and I said it before after she brought me the drink. I can tell my glare worked because she's practically shaking. "Well… what about her?" She looks down nervously and I don't really understand. "What?" Brown eyes flash up to mine. "Her." She hesitantly points at Alraune and as if on cue she snuggles closers into me and makes the most adorable face. You know, if you could find her adorable. "I almost knocked your girlfriend down the stairs coming up. I asked my boss if I could give her a drink on the house. Do you know what she'd want when she woke up? Or is she… you know….already done for the night?" At the last part she makes the cut off sign with her hand. The music blares and the strobe starts up before I can catch the face I must have made. I'm angry that she won't take the hint and leave and the fact that she just assumes that she's my, never mind. I won't even say it. "She's not my….I don't know….." I mean, would she be thirsty? I guess I could just wake her up. "Hey, get the fuck up. What do you want to drink?" I shake her and push her away. Why, because I'm Mello and I don't give a shit.

When I take a look at Alraune's face the glare she gives me is enough to make even me want to shake from fear. As if she remembered herself, the look disappears and she simply says "I want to fucking sleep but I'll take a Becks and vodka shot. Thank you." The waitress runs away and if her leather pumps could have been heard over the music of the rave the sound would have been deafening. Alraune scoots away and looks over the railing and I can't help but feel slightly like a jerk for waking her up like that. I just don't do well with emotions and I don't play well with others. That was basically the disclaimer that was mumbled before every meeting of a new orphan at Wammy's House.

I feel her hand on my thigh as she lays something on it. Her hand pulls away and it feels like there is a fire beneath my skin, another reason why I loathe to be touched by her. I look down and see that it's a phone and the USB. Thank God, she got it. I need this if I'm ever going to become the number one mob boss. The information on this USB is going to destroy Rod and my enemies in Europe. The phone, though, is a mystery. I didn't ask her to get this and I don't want unneccisary risks being taken while on the job. She could get hurt and Matt would be upset. I guess I would be too but Matt is my only concern here. With my regular smoothness I say "Why did you grab the shitty phone? We only needed the USB." She turns to me and gives me the most un-amused look. "Isn't it obvious why I took the phone?" Her voice is heavy with sarcasm and sleep. She really looks like shit. Her eyes are glassed over and rimmed with pink. Her lips are pouty liked she'd been crying. Has she been crying? I searched her eyes and felt myself shudder as I took in her ice blue eyes. They reminded me of a Viking princess. Beneath those eyes was something I'd only ever glimpsed. There is so much that I don't know about her feelings. I can't imagine her having secrets since she freely gives Matt and I information whenever we ask but everyone has to have secrets. Her hair is curly today and it falls in large sausage curls around her shoulders and back down to her waist. Her hair is ash blonde and it reflects all of the lights that are going on around the club. She looks weak and that scares me. Alraune is never weak. I want to take her back into my arms but I push that thought away. That's more of Matt's thing. "If it was, I wouldn't have asked you the question." She turns away to face the stage again and I can see her alabaster neck through a thin veil of hair. That skin is normally so soft and smooth but now there are purple bruises that look like passion marks. I feel this heat overcome me and I just want to scream. She's been away on the job but apparently found time to have a tryst with who knows who. That's why she's tired. Before I can even blink I realize how angry I am at her and just let the words fly out of my mouth. "Are you just going to be a _bitch_ and not tell me?" With that I saw rage flash over her features. The waitress returned with her beer and shot. She took the drinks off the tray before the waitress could even lower it, pulled out a 100 Euro bill, and stuck it in the waitress's free hand in what seemed like milliseconds. Alraune lifted the shot and dropped it into the beer glass and proceeded to chug the entire thing. With a slam of the glass down on the table she stood up and turned to face me. From the angle she was looking down on me and her face displayed all of the colors of the stage. Her eyes bore into me and their heat stunned me. "Listen, I don't give a shit what the fuck you have to say about anything. Honestly, you are the most rude individual I have ever had the misfortune to make the acquaintance of and if you think for one second I consider you to be a close friend then you need to rethink our relationship. You know why I'm here and if you don't let me remind you. Matt is one reason. I value our friendship and I intend to always honor that friendship. Money is another reason I am here. Power and revenge rank high up there on the list and a little glory never hurts. But you, Mello; you're not on that fucking list. Maybe you could have been but that would mean that you'd have to stop being such an asshole and stop taking out your insecurities on other people. You walk around like you're invincible but you're falling apart inside and out. If you had your shit together we wouldn't be here in this mess and you fucking know that. So, fuck off and take care of Matt tonight. I'm leaving." With that she turned around and walked off to the stairs, until she stopped and turned around to look at me one last time. Her face showed so many emotions all at the same time: rage, sadness, contempt, disgust, pity. Pity is the one that stung me the most. She looked me in the eye before spitting out the words "You fucking disappoint me" with more venom than a viper. I felt those words hit me like bullets, tearing my flesh apart. With that she turned around and started off again.

I couldn't move as I watched her walk off. The red light illuminated her as she walked, no slinked, towards the stairs. Has she always walked like that? She started to descend and the stairs and I noticed that I wasn't the only one looking at her. Our little scene didn't go unnoticed by the other VIPs and I half expected to see staunch judgment on their rich ass faces but instead I saw another emotion entirely: Lust. I felt a shudder and as I realized I didn't like that. My fists balled up at my sides, their white knuckles glowed in the dim light. I saw one bastard smirk as he snuffed out his filthy cigarette. He made eye contact with me a nodded his head in the direction she left as he left out a whistle. He started to chuckle and his friend turned around to look at me as well. They were sitting at a table for two with a Turkish tea set in front of them. They each wore button ups and Kenneth Cole dress shoes; I would know because I have a pair. The one who whistled had the nerve to say to me "Looks like your girlfriend put you in your place. Someone else is gunna take her home tonight for sure." Then his little bitch ass friend chimes in "Yeah, I hope it's me." I take the beer glass and make sure to hit that fucker in the head.

No one has ever talked to me like that. Matt and I have argued, sure. I'm not the easiest person to be around but Matt is different. He's my best friend and I love him for putting up with me. Alraune is just an acquaintance. How dare she talk to me like that! That fucking bitch, she can't talk to me like that. It's time to go.

[To: Mattie 5:09 a.m.] Let's fucking go. Shit is done.


	3. Chapter 3 So very, very happy

[From: Mells 5:09 am] Let's fucking go. Shit is done.

[Matt 5:10 am] but, I don't wanna.

Ha, really now? But, I just opened my redbull. I scoffed at the thought of leaving with the prospect of such fresh rejuvenation that this drink has offered me. Where is he even sitting? As I scan the crowd I notice a lot of things. Puking girl in the middle of the floor, sketch ass guys over in the far back left corner that have got to be drugging innocent maidens, and of course the guy dressed as Waldo. Why is there always a Waldo? I mean, really? Can't Mario ever grace the stage or princess Peach? "Kids these days." I just shake my head as I keep scanning.

Taking another sip of my red bull I start to wind things down on my end and I signal Konstantin to get the other guy ready to take my place. Tonight was fun. I only had one job and it was the one job I wanted. Alraune made quick work from what I saw. She's really something. Although, she did look extremely tired. Everything has been falling apart lately and I know that some of it has really taken its toll on her. After tonight we should have the upper hand and everything will turn out better. That's what I keep telling myself. Who would have thought that Rod would have turned against Mello?

[Mells 5:12 am] Leave that stage now or I'll come down and drag you out. Meet me by the front door.

[Matt 5:12 am] Roger that.

I give Konstantin a nod and he sends a guy up. Hopping down from the stage a few girls start making their way over to me. This won't be fun. "Mad music, man." The girl who says this lunges towards me and I can just tell that their all high and all not my type. "Yeah, I gotta go." I take off sprinting and I can hear their protestations fading into the music. I hate people. I'm not a people person and I can't handle social pressure. I would rather just be left alone to my technology than have to deal with people. There are a few exceptions, particularly two blondes that should be waiting by the door for me right not. Ah, there's one. "You ready?" I flash the brightest smile I can at Mello because he looks like someone just took a shit on the Russian Orthodox Church. "You have to ask? Let's go." He snarls turning on his heels. "Wow. Okay, let's go."

Mello is running towards the car and I can barely keep up. He stops at the passenger side of and taps his foot in annoyance. Once I get up to the door and unlock it he's slides in quick as lighting. The engine comes to life and I turn the heat on so that the car warms up a bit. I start checking in the mirror for Alraune. After a few minutes Mello clears his throat loudly and gives me an oh-so-Mello-death-glare and says "What the fuck are we waiting for? Did you forget how to drive or are you drunk?" Well, what the hell is going on? "Where is Alraune?" Mello's eyes widen and his pupils even look like they dilated a bit. He turns away to face out of the window before quickly saying "Said to take care of you tonight and she was leaving." The words were slurred together and his voice was so low that I knew something must have gone down between them. Honestly, I was getting sick of this shit. It's been 5 months since I met her and introduced them. In these 5 months I've come to really care for her and what she adds to our relationship. Without her, we'd be dead and he knows it. After the Kira case, Near asked her to join him and that's when everything between her and Mello became complicated. She chose to stay with us but Mello can't comprehend that or he just won't.

I met Alraune at a Rave in Berlin. She was dancing and I was against the wall like the wallflower I am. She made eye contact with me during one of the sets and there was just something about her. Her body language was inviting and I thought that if I was going to let go and dance around someone then I would do it around her. I made my way over to her and she smiled when we made eye contact again. I could tell that he was not flirting shamelessly with me and that made me feel relaxed. I'm not really good with girls in the first place and most that I do attract are extremely intense and overbearing. I couldn't tell if she even had an agenda. I'd come to find out that she's just really nice and even has a soft spot for those who have been done wrong by others. She understands the freaks, the geeks, the ones that just don't fit in. She's one of these people, too. But, with some mad social skills, which I lake in abundance. I asked her if she wanted to grab some food and she smiled and said yes.

We went to a Döner stand in the middle of Berlin and laughed the whole time. I offered to walk her to her apartment and when we arrived I physically felt ill at the thought of leaving her. She stood there in front of her door and said "You know, it actually physically pains me to think of leaving you." I was floored. "I had the same thought. I swear to God, I just thought that." She laughed and tilted her head to the side. "Wanna come in and watch Netflix?" I of course said yes and we spent the morning watching zombie movies. We fell asleep in her bed and when I woke up she was already up and making coffee. We didn't do anything but enjoy each other's company. I'd be lying if I hadn't thought about seeing if she was interested in me physically but what we had was so special I didn't want to risk ruining it. In fact, somewhere through the course of that week she even mentioned that she often needs time to get to know someone and on the rare occasions that she doesn't she normally dislikes the person severely before developing feelings for them. If she needed time I would give her time. I'd make sure I was always with her.

On the seventh day of avoiding Mello's calls I relented and picked up. He was pissed that I'd gone missing for a week and demanded to know where to. We were still planning on going to Japan for the Kira case but he was considering branching out in Berlin. Mob activity around the globe, you know. I told him I met this girl and that he needed to meet her. I told him that whatever this was, I wasn't throwing it away just to move on to Japan and work on his career. He was silent for a long time and then asked where he needed to be to meet Alraune and I.

They hit it off well, in my opinion. But, my opinion of well with Mello is slightly different from others. He wasn't as big of an asshole as he could have been but soon they got into an argument about Nietsche vs. Goethe's opinions on man leaving society. I was enthralled and totally forgot about my game. I had never heard Mello stutter or even appear flustered in a philosophical debate. Near even conceded to him once and in private told me it was one of the reasons why he really liked Mello. To my surprise, she held her own against Mello and even out matched him. She was well versed in all the subjects Mello was passionate about and even taught him a thing or two, not that he would ever admit to that. The pang of jealousy was once again present because I couldn't help but think she might prefer him over me, as was common when we were at school. I'm just not a popular person and I don't stand out. Somewhere along the course of their conversation Mello asked her to give him some information on a few things in Berlin. She's not German so I don't know why he asked her detailed questions but that didn't keep her from answering them with the confidence of a native. If I had to sum it up, Mello was impressed with her and for some reason he has decided to hide that fact and lash out against her verbally.

I had been driving back to the apartment for 20 minutes now watching the buildings blur together. The streets were somewhat empty and the street cleaners were out brushing the trash away. Our apartment building was a series of lofts that were made from an old factory in the east. The streets were actually cobble stone and the lamp lights reflected in the puddles between the stones. I couldn't help but think the street looked like it was littered with broken glass. We remained in silence and when we pulled up into the garage and parked Mello made no attempt to start up a conversation. We entered the building and went up the stairs to our apartment. I hoped Alraune would be there waiting for us. Maybe, she and Mello could work out whatever happened, just maybe, if she was there and she definitely was not. Mello's candy wrappers were littered around the room and my computers were still on causing the room to be too warm for comfort. I haven't seen here in two weeks till tonight and I'll be damned if I go any longer. "I'm leaving to go find her." I turned to leave and felt Mello grab my wrist. "What?! Are you serious?! Just leave her alone." His voice was so loud in the quite hallway. He must have figured that he wasn't going to get anywhere with me if he continued to shriek but I was surprised to hear him actually whine. "Come on. Please, Mattie. Everything is fine. She's fine." He didn't sound half as convincing as he wanted to sound and I knew that was his guilty conscience. He really crossed a line. "Mello, I don't know what you did but I haven't seen her in two weeks. I've missed her and you know that!" My voice was shaking and I could hear it crack as I yelled. Taking a step back I knocked into our table that we lay our keys and mail on. This is all getting to be a bit much. Shouldn't things have gotten better after the Kira case? Shouldn't we all be on a beach somewhere relaxing and enjoying each other's company? I looked him the eyes and allowed my confused frustration to saturation the question I've wanted the answer to for so long. "Haven't you?" I was shocked when he didn't reply with some smart ass comment but instead blushed. He blushed loudly. Is that even possible? If a blush could make a sound this one would have been screaming. "Yeah. But, she didn't want to be here and she wanted to leave. So come on Mattie, don't make me sleep by myself." Mello pouted. He knew I could never refuse him and he really didn't sleep well by himself after the incident. Unfortunately for him, my other friend was somewhere in Berlin and I needed to be with them more tonight. "Mello, I gotta go. Don't do this to me."I pleaded to him silently for mercy as I broke our eye contact. I tore myself away and ran out to the street. I knew she might be at her old apartment and that was only a few streets way.

As I ran up on her apartment and rang the door, I thought to myself that she might be asleep and wouldn't answer the door. So, I did what every other 19 year old male would do. I scaled the side of her complex using a pipe till I illegally entered someone's balcony and was able to break into their apartment and get to my rightful destination. People should really lock their balcony doors, scratch that, they should never lock them, never. Her apartment complex was four stories and a product of Mies van der Rohe and his Bauhaus movement. Brick painted white and clean lines: a modern dream come true. The hallways all looked the same as I came out of the other apartment. The geometric square pattern of the carpet was nice and anchored the bright hallway with its chrome wall sconces. Soon I found her apartment. The number was 57 even though there were only 10 other apartments in the building but Alraune had the landlord indulge her. I unlocked the door with the spare key. Her apartment smelled the same but I went straight to her bedroom not even bothering to knock on the door or look around her apartment before I opened it.

She was startled at the sudden opening of her door. "Fuck! Matt?" Her voice was so heavy with sleep but God did it sound good to hear her say my name and to see her. "Hey, sorry." I shut the door and kicked off my shoes. I smelled horrible so I took off my black skinny jeans and read v-neck shirt. "It's okay. Come here. I missed you." She opened her arms and started to lie back in the bed. I missed her so much. I hate when she does business without one of us. Mello tried to talk her out of it. Regardless of how he acts, he cares about her safety too. The mafia isn't kind to women.

Everything was fine when I crawled into the bed with her. She was here and I was holding her tightly. No one hurt her and no one was going to as long as I was there. I nuzzled closer into her and smelled her. I smelled her scent through the club funk. She smells like mixed berries and something dark like chocolate or something that I just don't know the word for yet. Either way, I was happy. The only thing that would make me happier is if Mello was here. I don't understand my feelings entirely. This is all new to me. But, these two people are my best friends. They mean more to me than anything and I'd do anything for them. I would gladly die for them. I just want this to all work out and us all be able to get along and stay like this for as long as possible; just the three of us. At this thought I felt myself drift off into sleep and I was so very happy.


	4. Chapter 4 Baby Blue

The sun is so cold and everything is covered in a blanket of dull blue light. I can smell the baker as he prepares for tomorrow's festival. The little children are carrying their book bags and umbrellas home. The smell of rain on hot asphalt assaults my nose and I feel a burning. As I touch my lip I feel the slick texture of blood and then taste that familiar iron. Iron…..Iron and Blood. _"This world will not be forged by words alone. It will be forged with iron and blood. That's what Bismark said" _I can feel his warm hand on my brow as he pushes my hair back from my face. The chill of the wind nips my nose and the blood is even colder than before._ "I love you."_ He's whispering and then I hear the gun shots. No. Not this again.

I wake with a gasp and shoot up in the bed. My body is so hot and there is sweat everywhere. My shirt clings to me and my eyes can't focus. Everything is spinning and I know I'm going to retch right here if I don't get it under control. The clock reads 11 pm. I start running through the list: I'm in Berlin not Denmark and I finished the job. I'm not using an alias right now. The mafia is hunting me, no us. Mello and Matt are in Berlin. This is my room. Those are not my clothes. Those are not my mother fucking clothes. Male and 5'5-5'6, red and black…..Matt….Matt is here.

I feel horrible and I need a shower. I pull back my white sheets and feather down comforter as I swing my legs over the side of the bed. My shirt and shorts are stuck on me. Stumbling into my on-suite I start peeling them off layer by layer. I step into my walk in shower. I love this shower. The tiles are various shades of green that range from forest green to sage. The water isn't warm but it will be soon. I just need to get clean. I start washing my hair and it's then that I notice what my mind had so kindly repressed. A few of my nails are broken and my knuckles are bruised and cut. Traveling up my left arm are clear imprints of someone's hand. God blessed me with the ability to bruise and it not show up until weeks later. For me to be exhibiting these types of black and blue bruises after only a few days is a testament to the strength of my rival. My ribs are spotted here and there and I think I may have a fractured one. But my neck is what is the most disgusting to me. I can't see it but I know that they're there. I finally vomit. I can feel his hands on my throat and feel his lips. Men, honestly, they make me sick when they're so disgustingly piggish. Rape doesn't scare me, but having them think that they broke me or even dominated me in any way does. Luckily, I got away and he's at the bottom of some lake in Turkey.

After sitting in the shower for a bit I get out and dry off. My bathroom is a slate grey with white cabinets and marble counter top. I tried to keep it modern but my bedroom furniture is all black French provincial with white and green accents. I pull on a long sleeved light baby blue thermal and some cotton sweat pants. Normally I'd wear shorts but my thighs are bruised and look painful. They sure feel painful. I don't want Matt to see them and it's really cold so I'll add a knit scarf too. He'll just think I'm trying to look cute and keep on doing whatever it is he's doing. These marks on my neck would only give him either the wrong idea or cause him to worry and look for more evidence of this unfortunate turn of events.

I straighten my room up and open the door. My room is at the opposite side of my guest room. The doors are tucked away in a little hallway that you can only turn left or right in if you're coming from the living room. If you go straight you'll run into the powder room. The guest room has its own on-suite, too. That's fucking lavish in Europe and it cost me a fortune. When I turn the corner into the living room I see Matt sitting on the white fluffy rug playing a game. His back is against my couch and I feel my heart swell when I see him. My furniture is all French provincial in this room too but all white. The living room and kitchen are all open to each other. The apartment isn't that big but it's perfect for just me. Matt and Mello would fit nicely here, too.

Oh, God. That reminds me, fucking Mello and his rude ass. I can't possibly begin to deal with that again. I couldn't dwell on that for long because Matt started coughing violently. He was in a t-shirt that one of my friends left. Reiner is a lot bigger than Matt and the shirt hung off of him. It was white and boasted characters from Super Mario. He was in grey boxer briefs and his legs looked so nice and muscular. I could see his muscles move underneath his skin. His arms were taunt and I admired the curves they created before striding over to him. He knew I was there but was feigning he was oblivious. We're like air and water. He's so calm and heavy like the ocean and I'm the wind that blows across him creating ripples and waves.

The rug's fluffy fur is in between my toes and I can see Matt stiffen as I come near. Ignoring the pain it sends shooting up my spine, I squat down next with our face inches away from one another. He turns his face to mine and smirks. I'm lost. I'm lost somewhere in time. Matt is just gorgeous, After a moment his voice reaches me. It's low and so relieved, almost like all is right with the world. "You're awake. Schatzie, I missed you. I missed you like crazy." I couldn't stop myself. I crawled into his arms and wrapped my arms around his torso. I nuzzled my face into his chest and took a deep breath. I wanted to smell Matt. I wanted to be wrapped in this eternal calm and just…..

There was a loud knock on the door and my eyes fluttered open. Matt made no movement to either go to the door or push me off. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me and held tightly. Another loud knock and the chain on the door rattled. "I'm so happy you're here, Schatzie." His breath tickled my hair on the top of my head. I felt the ever so soft press of his lips. I needed more of him and his warmth. I released my hold on his torso and quickly pushed my hands and arms under his shirt. My skin was burning from the contact of his warm and smooth skin. I felt better than I had ever thought possible after these two weeks. But, the knocking continued. "I gotta get it. Mhm…mmm" He hummed as he picked me up and sat me down on the couch.

The knocking slowed after Matt started towards the door. He opened the door and Mello was standing there blue jeans and a black cashmere sweater. What happened to the leather? Did he have a stroke? "Where is the leather?" I asked meekly. My voice was so raw and weak. If I had not heard it this way before I would have been worried. C'est le Vie, I thought. I didn't really want to say anything but my mouth just acted on its own. He looked at me and stiffened. I closed my eyes and felt him as he took in every inch of me. He combed me over and I could feel his eyes linger on one spot a little too long.

I heard the sound of his chocolate bar breaking and his shoes sliding off. Matt wasn't breathing. Why was Matt not breathing? "Are you not going to answer her?" Matt's voice had such a bite in it. My eyes flew open to see him standing in front of Mello. Mello's face was…I don't know. I've never seen this look on his face. Shamed? Impossible. Mello can't be shamed or tamed for that matter. His chest stretched the soft fabric when he took a breath. I could see the outline of his abs and his hip bones that jutted out above his waist line. His jeans were slim but relaxed. I noticed that his quads were looking bigger but he'd always had a runner's legs. He was wearing the socks I got him as a gag. They have Hershey kisses on them and say the words "sweet" and "kiss." I've never seen him wear them. I assumed he shot them or burned them. Why do I bother? I bother because deep down, I just want him to like me as much as I know I am capable of liking him.

Mello lowered his chocolate bar and turned towards me more. "Why does your voice sound like you've been screaming till your vocal cords burst?" Well, perhaps because I had resorted to that as a last ditch effort to stave off an angry coke dealer turned hired assassin. "I'd rather not elaborate." I closed my eyes again and I could tell that they were both at a loss for words. I tell them everything and I mean everything. They always say "Okay, we need the short version right now. This is serious." And while it pisses me off a lot I understand. I believe in details and the more I perceive and file away the better prepared I am in situations. I hear Matt clear his throat and he moves closer to me. I can feel the warmth of his body and it's like my nerves are all screaming "touch me." "I want to know why you left last night." He whispers it and he sounds so sad. "I didn't want to be around Mello and I needed to leave to go to sleep. I could have slept in the booth at the club but Mello woke me up. He then called me a bitch." I let the words flow out of me. Sure, I was still angry but my words were just matter of fact. Matt's hand touched my right arm and I opened my eyes. His goggles hid his eyes and his hair fell around his face. I sat up on the couch and reached my arms out to him. "Sit with me?" He sat down and pulled me into his lap. I clutched one of my pillows to my chest.

Matt let out a long sigh before speaking. "Mello, why do you always pick a fight with her? Why can't you ever just leave things alone or just shut up? Why are you so damn insecure and mean?" Matt's shoulders slumped and he tightened his grip around my waist. I felt bad for him because he was so tired. Like me, tired of Mello and his anger. Didn't her understand that we were there for him? We're not the enemy. I also felt somewhat bad for Mello. Matt calling him out was going to really hurt him.

Mello took a seat in my accent chair. It was big and plush. He sat slumped over leaning between his legs and took another bite of his candy. He sighed and we sat there like that for a long time. No one moved or said anything. But, Matt kept holding me and nuzzling me. His breath was shallow and he shook slightly. I turned to see that his goggles were filled with tears. Matt was so upset. Matt was done. "There's just too much pressure. I'm sorry Matt. Maybe I just don't understand why she chose to stay and what we're all doing here." Mello's voice was tiny and he sounded truly sincere. "Well," Matt's voice was rugged and he took a deep breath before continuing "we're in this situation because of you Mello. It really is all your fault. No matter where this goes, you're to blame for this situation. But, we're obviously over do for a talk. How about we begin from the beginning: Why did you want to leave Rod? Really, why did you want to leave?" Matt gripped me tightly and I moved to face in to his chest. I think I know why Mello wanted to leave but hearing it from him now would be better than just assuming anything. "I've never felt like I was number one and you know that, Matt. I hate feeling like I'm not good enough. Why have all this potential and do nothing with it? Rod offered me the possibility of taking over as head of the LA mafia but was that really any different from what I'd been doing my whole life? Waiting to be the next L and waiting to be the next Rod is the same thing. I started thinking about how well he was doing. I kept stats about the growth of the group and of course, I have a book of contacts. I did that. I grew his business for him and I killed his enemies for him. If I could do it for him, I could do it for myself." He took a bite of his chocolate and I could hear his slow methodical chewing. "Is that really it?" Matt sounded less than enthused. "Of course that's not all. I wasn't done!" Mello retorted. "There are 2 other reasons. I want to pick up where my father left off. I want control of Russia and the whole of Europe. I want to be the number one boss and I want to redeem my family. Those who murdered my family are still out there and I'm going to track them down. I will make them suffer." There it was, the reason I had thought of at the beginning. Mello sometimes talked about his mother to me. Where he was calm and thoughtful on the outside I knew that inside he felt just like me: blood thirsty. I want revenge against those who did me wrong and he does, too.

"And if I'm being extremely honest," I looked over at him and he held my eye contact. His normally smoldering blue eyes were shiny from unshed tears. Where he had always hated the scar that adorns his face, I had always found it very attractive. I also found it symbolic in this moment. It was like I was getting to know another Mello. Finally, the other Mello that Matt had told me so many stories about. The Mello that was very considerate. The one who would sing when no one was around, or at least he thought no one was around. This Mello was a welcomed sight. "I want to take care of you." His gaze turned to Matt. "Well, now I want to take care of her, too. This wasn't my plan and I'm afraid that she's going to leave or she's going to hurt me or worse hurt you. I'm so attached and that freaks me out. When I was at the club and she looked so tired I felt like my heart was going to explode. She does so many things perfectly and I'm jealous. Once again, I'm jealous of someone much more competent in ways I wish I was and this person has all of your love and that kills me." I stopped breathing and I felt Matt jerk. "She doesn't have all of my love, Mello." Mello scoffed as he looked down at the rug. There was chocolate smudged on his exposed fingers. A tense moment of quite once again passed before he said "Why do you get all the love in the world?"

I knew the question was for me. He sounded so exasperated. However, I was hurt. He had no idea just how little love the world really gave me. I had enemies, demons, and scars. Love was something I defined as ugly, complicated, and only a postponement of disappointment. Everyone I loved save for a few were dead and those who survived were wounded emotionally. These people in my life that I loved and loved me, were all racing against a clock and with very little time left on it. I couldn't handle the implications of such a question. Not after the two weeks in Turkey where I realized that everyone wanted to kill me. I felt my eyes start to sting and that need to vomit return.


End file.
